Been a minute..moving time

Apologies loyal ones.

Today, we will ponder one of the hilarious facts of life. Think on peeps, think on…

It has been a little while, the rakoon is moving locations. So I’ve been packing, throwing crap away, etc…I am looking forward to living in a home again. This time there is a swimming pool..yes!!

This process has led me to a realization.

On the day one moves, one finds out who is a real friend. This process usually uncovers all kinds of excuses, like, “I know I told you I would help, but my son’s friend just broke his Star Wars toy, and I can’t help you…”-nice.

-or, the famous-

“..family emergency”

I want to hear some funny real life excuses on why people could not help you move. While you are pondering…check out some of these stories below..funny.

stiffrakoon

Moving Comedy

Chris Brown says… he’s sorry and saddened

Who the hell is Chris Brown? An angel from another world? Donnie Osmond’s brother? Marky Mark come back from movie’s?

He probably won’t even get in trouble…cause he’s famous, don’t you know…what do you think?

stiffrakoon

Read article: Chris Brown says hes `sorry and saddened

Axelrod: Effects of stimulus will be seen soon

Read this and tell me what you think…

Read article: Axelrod: Effects of stimulus will be seen soon

Screw with People at the Gym..

HILARIOUS…

New Page..word from the author

So, we have a new page addition to our family. Check it out, and submit your favorite talented unknown music acts. Also, make sure when you comment you click the box that asks if you want to be notified of responses(you will get many now) Click the ‘RSS’ feed icon and every time a blog posts you will be updated via e-mail…very simple.

If you have pictures, post your pictures, stiffrakoon.com is meant to be interactive, and your comments will now post on the right column. There are many things to come, including much more traffic and readers, new pages, merchandise, and a newly designed page. I look forward to growing as a new Koalition.

stiffrakoon

Democrats vs Republicans vs Chris Brown

You know why I like Obama? Not because I am a democrat, I’m not. The guy is the real deal.

In our current status as a nation, we need someone who is confident, a mover, shaker, not a cake baker. We need change, obviously. Why am I writing about this in my blog? I’ve got writer’s block lately, and all this economy crap, has given me a one track mind. So, I’ll get it off my chest and then talk about the funniest thing in music.

• Obama has his mortal political ‘enemies’ on his cabinet…as he put it, “..unprecedented..” -he’s right. Who does that?

Someone who is waging war(any type of war) needs many advisors to claim victory. Who does that?-Someone that is serious and means business. I love it, all these critics, ‘political gurus’, making comments on what he should do, didn’t do, must do, did wrong…one must walk in ones shoes, at least a mile before commenting on how they walk, or move.

Here we go. The fun part. Chris Brown, for all of you who don’t know, he is the guy that has been riding Usher’s coat tails, but, until now more squeaky clean. Dude supposedly beat up his long time girlfriend which so happens to be a star herself(whatever that word ’star’ means). I’ve seen better people with less of a story go to prison. Of course he won’t, he can afford big attorney’s, maybe he should do a song with Disturbed.

Until Next Time,

stiffrakoon

Satriani vs Coldplay-Hilarious

The god of progressive rock has had paperwork served to the gods of pop rock- Coldplay, on stage after one of their shows. Apparently, the fast fingered guitarist has been trying to get Coldplay’s attention with no answer. I’m willing to bet that he got their attention now. I bet Chris Martin’s sarcasm and ego were definitely pricked on that day, there was most likely some bad language and laughs.

Coldplay is a favorite of mine and I love their new single ‘Viva la Vida’ does it sound like one of Satriani’s songs? You be the judge. Here is the song Satriani thinks Coldplay copied…what’s even funnier is this guy is 52 yrs old! WOW…maybe some of the same notes…but, plagiarism?

Global ‘F.U.’ Day…a NEW HOLIDAY…

Yes, I have designated tomorrow the 3rd day of the month of February as “Global FU Day’…

There are some rather large resentments in our global community, if you haven’t noticed, the world has some middle fingers to throw up toward many sources. Whether it be toward music, the economy, rich folks, hell, even to me (amuse me)…or simply a global “FU” shout out…

I am a firm believer in comedy to heal the inner soul, and I am a firm believer in good ol’ fashion speaking your mind and releasing tension that way. Whatever your poison, SPEAK YOUR MIND…interact and experience the smile while you are typing and releasing.

Don’t worry, I’ll have quite a few ‘FU’s’…

For all the smart people, F…U…is for fuck you…(holy shit did he just say that?) That’s a big 10-4

F. U. for now,

stiffrakoon

The Money Drug

Yes, that is what I said.

This is madness.

As the dollar(our credit value as a nation) plummets like Kurt Cobain’s life in 94′…

The rich, greedy, tycoons (the heroes of our society ie. Nicholas Cosmo, Arthur Nadel) seem to have a growing tolerance of  “the money drug” which is legal to our amazing capitalistic system…these guys seem like junkies in their quest of just one more dollar.

The population has created such a gap in the classes, the greed has grown into a riot or sorts for just one more ‘fix’.  God forbid a small sacrifice.

A leer jet? Bentley? For the sake of something noble or full of honor like allowing someone’s family to eat or have a humble roof over their heads. Nah, we need more, more, more. What happened to honor? Honesty?

I understand business and success on many levels, but, this is like watching two year old boys fight over a Tonka truck.

Where’s frickin’ Robin Hood when you need him? What’s even scarier about this economic slide is how the government is ceasing power of the economy, looking like heroes. Didn’t Hitler do that? It’s like a giant clearance sale for them.

Feedback please…

stiffrakoon

Music or Bubblegum, which would you prefer?

Has anybody noticed the quality of music go to shit?

Yesterday I was trying to see if there was any good music on the radio. The only luck I had was music that is from quit a while ago. Or songs that sound like shit that has already been done.

Did the world lose it’s creativity? It is possible to be totally produced and good people. For examples ask me…

Seriously. I would like some opinions people, take two seconds and let me know what’s up…

stiffrakoon

Babies don’t sleep…

Well, I’m up again and tired. Nature of the business I guess.

I love my baby girl, but, man she sleeps like ummmm…Al Pacino in “The Devil’s Advocate.”

I think it would be better if I was able to get to bed earlier. That does not happen. I can understand why parents “before the age of intelligence” gave their babies laudanum and alcohol.

For some sense of sanity.

stiffrakoon

Movement Through the ‘SOUL’

Some people might call this a movement, vacation, walk-about, game, competition, test…but, all is the same.

Recently I met some interesting people (as all are) however, these same people may have been influenced by the almighty DRINK. Some of these people I have given my number to, do you think I have heard from them?…negatory.

I’m okay with this since I have done the same myself. For some reason though, my expectations always seem to hurt me.

My best friend and lover recently told me that this can be a blessing or a curse…(my sensitivity)…

Now, I have been informed of this quality before, but  in my youth I have not seen the consequences or rewards that can come of this, I am just now starting to see the truth of my state of being. I have also been informed of my weakness for what I consider, ‘good’ friends. This is rooted in the same ’sensitive’ quality.

Sometimes I feel as if I know the person before I do. I feel as if I see through their thoughts and emotions…hell, even judgments. Especially judgements. I miss youth…it seems so easy now, but it still wasn’t. Life is a trip, a journey, a movement through the soul.

I am putting myself out there, even though my reader base is not what it will be when this site hits the main..

Life is something I think no one understands completely until they are dead…and even then who knows?

How can one know?

What are your weaknesses? Your qualities that you lack? This is how you will know…what YOUR movement through your soul may be.

I’ll see you soon.

stiffrakoon

2012? The Rakoon is back

Hello people and welcome to the year that is supposedly 3 yrs before the end of the world???, according to the ancient Mayans…

…side note: I think they disappeared a long time ago…

Oh yeah, Nostradamus, and many other ‘beliefs’ …’religions’…and ‘prophets’ think that it’s all going to be over in 2012.

I hope your holidays/winter solstice was pleasant, and I look forward to many more years of talking to my kind of people.

Hint: That would be you.

stiffrakoon

Session of Congress…or…Normal Thinking?

Well, sometimes I get writers block-(shocker I know)…

Or, I just simply have so many damn things to say I wonder which subject is the most appropriate.

I call it getting stuck in my mind…the session of congress that is debating all the time, in my head. Schizophrenic, nah, everyone talks to themselves or at least lays in bed taking inventory of the day…wondering what the next tragedy, blessing, relationship, job, or challenge will be in their life.

• It’s time to reflect: (I sound like Mr Rogers, or Dr Phil)

1. Do any of you sit and wonder what the point of this life is?
2. Why you live now rather than another time that has passed?
3. Or why you were born and reside in the location you are at?
4. Is it some cosmic game?
5. Was it chance?
6. If it was chance, then the odds are seriously amazing. If it was not chance then what the hell?

You grow up either deprived or blessed or in between. You go to school or you don’t. You make good choices or bad. You find the love of your life and cherish it or not. You have children or not. Choices, and a hell of a lot of them.

• What we will all think of this life after it is over, or will we?

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for many people in my life, and many things, and circumstances. I just thought I would provoke some thought.

The only thing we can do that is good in this life is enjoy the work of our hands, make a positive impact, thank our maker, love our lover, love our children, and pay it forward.

“Blessings come back to us, not in our time, but the right time”

Keep the faith.

stiffrakoon

Paperwork or Real Life Investigation??

Okay, I’m letting my steam off. Check it, here’s the deal. Here is the way I feel right now. The whole dot your “I’s” and cross your “T’s” is lame. The way that entities such as corporations and landlords or lenders see your “character” is lame.

On paper, that is the name of the game. What about true human interaction? Did that disappear in the 1950’s or earlier, cause it definitely died.

I’m thinking that all of these powers that make “decisions” may have fallen off the reservation. Yes, fallen off. If you disagree, tell me, my people are out there I just need the time to reach all of you.

It seems to me if you have ever made a legal mistake aka criminal record…you are screwed…second chance, good luck, perservere for a long time. Seriously.

Don’t get me wrong I love this life, I am breathing. The alternative is either being ashes, or a rotting body in a box under the ground…ouch.

In closing, stay positive, take deep breaths and pray to your God. I don’t know what it is but, it helps. Keep in mind, life is a journey, and everyone is on a different time line.

Do not try to keep up with the Jones’s…bail out on that deal.

Stay up.

stiffrakoon

Porn Industry seeks fed bailout??

Are you serious? Why don’t we all become communists and worship Stalin? Can you say…gay?

You know what I’m going to seek government bailout of my godamn headache from all this bullshit…

..deal with it like all of the “normal” people…or..let’s all sit on the pity pot and cry and sing that one campfire song. Kum ba yah…yeah yeah, so it’s spelled wrong…I’ll request a bail out for my incorrect punctuation.

Unbelievable…and SICK.

stiffrakoon

650k and he almost threw it away..

Damn Smoky!!

Did you hear about the story of the man in Vermont? He actually threw his lottery ticket away. Then sifted through the trash (probably like a homeless person looking for cans, okay bad joke)

This guy found it and won 650k…talk about a close call. Anyways, he probably made about a dollar after taxes.

stiffrakoon

Failure vs. Greatness

“The darkest part of the night is right before the dawn…”

It was obviously not I who wrote this…but, wow, how encouraging. Recently, I’ve been criticized, advised, told, yelled at, cursed, watched like a hawk, etc…

Why? Well, I have had some challenging times, and have made some poor choices. To all the critics, I’m sure you have never made poor choices, or been wrong…right?

To all who mean well, thank you for your prayers, they are always needed. To all who just love drama, well…that’s a whole new blog…

From history as far as I know all great people, successful people,  fall off of the horse, wagon, rocket, chair, whatever.. Also, as a side note  I do not measure success as money..it’s in all areas of life, not just money

All true greatness is preceded by humility. I choose to not live in the past and I definitely know I am looking forward, there is no option for me, if I want success.

Can anyone tell me how many times Thomas Edison failed at creating a successful light bulb? Failure is a open doorway for success, it just needs to be walked through.

However, as always reply, please…I love opinions.

And assholes.

Joke.

stiffrakoon